I’m about to eat some cake, and it got me thinking about binge eating.

Most people have probably heard the term before, but from my own perspective, binge eating is simple to define: it’s overeating. The difference is that it isn’t something that happens once in a while. It’s a chronic cycle, a habit that takes over your thoughts and your life.

There is a lot of stigma around being overweight. People see someone who is very large and assume they’re lazy, undisciplined, or simply eat too much. What many people don’t understand is that binge eating isn’t laziness. It’s an addiction.

People don’t wake up one day and suddenly become 400, 500, or 600 pounds. Gaining that much weight takes years. It takes a long, painful cycle that often comes with depression, self-hatred, shame, and an unhealthy relationship with food.

I know because I’ve lived it.

Over the years, I’ve gained around 90 pounds because of binge eating. Food became more than food. It became comfort. Sometimes it felt like the only thing that could give me even a brief moment of happiness. I would spend money I didn’t have on food because, in that moment, the urge felt stronger than common sense. It’s the same way many addictions work.

The problem is that the relief never lasts.

You eat, and maybe you feel better for a few minutes. Then your stomach hurts. You feel guilty. You regret spending the money. You hate that you lost control again. Then you hate yourself for your weight, and the cycle starts all over.

For me, the obsession starts the moment I wake up.

For the last six years, one of my first thoughts every morning has been, “What am I going to eat today?”

Ironically, I used to struggle with the opposite problem. In eighth and ninth grade, I suffered from anorexia nervosa, a restrictive eating disorder. Looking back, I realize both disorders had something in common: food controlled my thoughts.

When I was restricting, I woke up wondering how little I could eat. Now, during periods of binge eating, I wake up wondering what I will eat next.

After a binge, I often promise myself I’ll do better. I’ll skip breakfast. I’ll skip lunch. I’ll try to make up for the day before. But eventually I eat something, and instead of feeling normal, I feel like I’ve failed. That shame can become the trigger for another binge later that night.

It’s a cycle that repeats itself over and over again.

Many people don’t understand how automatic it becomes. It’s not always a conscious choice. Sometimes it feels like you’re watching yourself do the same thing you’ve sworn not to do a hundred times before.

Some people become trapped in an even more dangerous cycle. After bingeing, they force themselves to throw up. That’s often associated with bulimia. For some, purging becomes an attempt to erase the binge, to undo the guilt, or to regain a sense of control. But it only creates another destructive pattern.

Eating disorders aren’t about food alone. They’re about emotions, coping mechanisms, mental health, and the ways people try to deal with pain.

I don’t expect this post to change everyone’s mind. Most people will continue to believe that being overweight is simply a matter of laziness or poor choices. But I wish more people understood that binge eating is far more complicated than that.

The people trapped in these cycles are often suffering. They’re frustrated, exhausted, ashamed, and desperate to stop. Most of them already know what they’re doing is hurting them. They don’t need more judgment.

They need understanding.

Because binge eating isn’t just about eating too much.